


Dark Shades of Light

by orphan_account



Series: "Shades of" (Undertale) [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Character Interpretation, Cross is really childish, I promise he's like... 17 or something, M/M, Neither go to school, Nightmare is around that age too, XD, anyways hope you like this, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9163684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nightmare didn't have friends. He didn't have a family. And he didn't need either. He was a rebel, a thief. But he didn't care. No matter how many times he got caught, he would never stop what was his life. Or at least, so he thought. Meeting Cross - the slightly annoying teen, made him think otherwise. It was useless to fight it - there was something there.Nightmare had to admit to himself... he was curious to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

Nightmare kept up his common stance throughout the entire trip – arms folded, frowning annoyingly, rolling his eyes pretty much every time Dream spoke up. He kicked his feet lightly from impatience, constantly trying to squirm out of the seatbelt around his waist, but failing. He knew he could take it off, but one look from Dream was all he needed to tell himself that really wasn’t a good idea right now.

Nightmare wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or even more annoyed when he finally crawled out of the car and trailed behind, dragging his feet on the way into the hospital. Looking up, he lowered his eyelids, before rolling his eyes again and continuing on. Why had he agreed to this again?

Dream pushed opened the door, stopping to look back at Nightmare. He let out a small sigh, placing a hand on his forehead for a bit, before looking back up again. “Can you, for just a few short minutes, _try_ and look like you don’t hate it here?”

Nightmare shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up and staring at Dream for a little. “I don’t hate it here,” he began, beginning to walk past into the hospital. “I hate you.” His words were harsh, but Nightmare wasn’t one to sugar coat anything.

Stopping in his tracks, Nightmare didn’t even pay attention to the fact that Dream’s head was slightly lowered as he walked on past him. Again, he rolled his eyes, following behind. He just wanted to get this over with, and then he could continue on with his time. He couldn’t help but look at the pictures on the walls and into some of the empty open rooms as they walked down the hall, but he was in no way interested.

Something must have been off with his thoughts, as he almost bumped into Dream who stopped suddenly in front of him, turning to face one of the doors. His brother’s hand went up to rub at his eye – at which Nightmare frowned a little at – before he smiled and stepped inside. Nightmare lowered his eyes a little and followed behind.

“Dream-kun!” a voice called out happily from within, Nightmare leaning back a little, frowning in confusion, a bit weirded out. What was up with that?

Dream let out a little laugh, walking forward. “Hey there Cross-kun. How was your day today?” he asked, kneeling down a little to be at level with the others bed, placing a hand on the edge. Nightmare rolled his eyes for about the tenth time and looked to the side, but it was impossible to block out the voices.

“It was okay. Momma brought me in some snacks to have after my operation,” Cross replied happily, kicking his legs a little, he held his arms up and bounced a little up and down.

Dream smiled brightly, happily moving forward to give him a gentle hug. “That sounds great Cross. You’re on the road to recovery, I can feel it,” he said, hand resting on his back gently as he continued to smile. Nightmare had to stop himself from gagging.

Cross nodded his head just a little, feeling happy about himself too, but was immediately distracted when his eyes fell on Nightmare. His grip loosened as his eyes widened a little and his mouth fell open, eyes sparkling.

Noticing Cross out of the corner of his eye, Nightmare turned around to face him immediately, leaning back. He blinked a couple of times, a look of bewilderment, and a bit of annoyance showing on his face. What was that all about? They’d never even met!

Dream looked behind him, before moving back, lowering his eyes a little. “Right, Cross. This is Nightmare, my brother,” he introduced. Nightmare stepped back, getting ready to do anything other than just stand there. He didn’t want to be the subject of a hug as well.

But Cross didn’t move. His eyes continued to sparkle as he stared ahead for a little while longer, his cheeks beginning to glow. “Senpai…” he breathed out, his eyes almost watering from how much he was staring, but eventually he blinked, before his mouth stretched out in happiness. He looked to Dream for a second, before jumping up with a happy smile, rushing towards Nightmare, arms wide.

“H-Hey, what are you doing?!” he remarked, but Cross didn’t stop. Nightmare held out his arms, but when the other came closer, he didn’t push him, but only gently held him away. The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for someone’s death, since he didn’t know what was wrong with the guy. Other than the fact that he looked like he was secretly lost in Japan.

It wasn’t hard to notice that Dream seemed to be silently giggling out of the corner, and only then did Nightmare feel his cheeks flame dark purple, but he couldn’t get Cross away. The guy was a lot stronger than he looked, that was for sure. No matter how hard he tried, Cross’s arms were still stretched out in eagerness to give him, ugh… a hug.

Hearing Dream’s laughter now getting louder, and feeling sweat build up under his palms as he tried to desperately keep Cross away, Nightmare couldn’t hold it back any longer. “Just get away from me!” he yelled sharply, and gave Cross a shove, pushing him back towards the wall. He barely got to see the other ones eyes widen as he looked ahead, breathing heavily with annoyance, before he heard the most painful scream he ever heard in his life.

Everything went far too quickly for him then. Cross burst into a wail, grasping his hands around his ribs as he coughed, and Dream rushed forward. It easily caught the attention of the others nearby, who almost knocked Nightmare over from rushing past. The realisation dawned on him, and he knew he’d messed up. Not knowing what to do or say, Nightmare stepped back, before bolting straight out of the hospital.

* * *

 

Nightmare didn’t care that he had almost stumbled directly into a moving car, almost ran into about five poles and nearly tripped over his own feet – he was too desperate to get away. Like a black blur, he bolted through across the street, through the crowds of people, until darkness finally met him as he ended up near, but not so close to, the entrance of a forest.

With a growl, Nightmare lifted up his fist, punching the tree infront of him repeatedly with whatever force he could muster, not caring that every bit of contact stung like mad. He continued to frown, thinking over and over in his head that this was it, he’d messed up, as usual, everything had gone wrong, because of him, but what did he care?

It wasn’t until Nightmare noticed the blood now spilling down his arms that he stopped, but didn’t even bother to move. Instead, tears welled up in his eyes as they stung, and he turned around and slid down the tree, arms wrapping around himself as his dark coat stained red. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care what happened to him. He deserved it. But if that was the case, why did he care so much about then?

…Because Cross didn’t deserve it. No, Nightmare didn’t care what Dream thought or whatever happened to him. Not now, anyway. But Cross was in that hospital for a reason, Nightmare didn’t know, but he’d heard enough to know it was bad – and enough to know that he should’ve never pushed him back like that… but as usual, he had the worst fucking tolerance. Nightmare knew he couldn’t handle things like that, but now… now he wished he did.

Nightmare let out a sigh, feeling the cold on his bones, seeing the sun go down, he decided there was no way he could sleep here. He rose up to his feet, blood now dried on his clothes, although it still continued to drip on the ground as he walked through. He didn’t care, it was just a little. It wouldn’t hurt him.

Away from public and halfway to his home proved him wrong. Nightmare stumbled forward on one of his steps, his head buzzing, and he was sure for a second his vision went blurry. “W-Woah…” he said quietly, one hand grasping his head as lifted himself up. For a second, he spotted his drenched arms – now more red then white, and even his shoes, which were black, were now even more the colour of his blood. Nightmare took a breath, looking towards the yellow lights of the town. Okay, that was stupid… but surely he could make it back and…

But who would even care? Not his brother, that was for sure… Nightmare was sure no-one would want to help him, not anyone who knew… He stepped back, one hand pressing to his chest, as he looked back to his home, and then… Another wash of dizziness, and Nightmare knew whatever time he had was running out. But he didn’t want to go back there. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this – not any random stranger. As much as he hated it, he did need help. But not… not from people he didn’t know.

Nightmare knew what that meant. He felt his soul pound against his chest a little, but he carefully slid off his jacket, despite the cold, and wrapped it as tightly as he could around his arms, covering every speck of blood. The stains on his jacket were mostly hidden at this point. He didn’t care how ridiculous he looked like this – he wasn’t having anyone seeing the stains.

Going as fast as he could manage, Nightmare took a breath and made his way back to town, ignoring the pain and the slight amounts of whatever blood was left that managed to seep past the tight press of his jacket. He could make it.

* * *

 

Dream let out a sigh. He hadn’t wanted to leave. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave Cross alone after what had happened, but he knew he already stayed over hours… besides, Cross was okay now… for the most part, anyways. He wasn’t going to be much better for a couple of days…all because of…

Dream took a breath, trying to calm himself down. Yes, Nightmare had made his recovery a little slower. But it was Dream’s fault for not saying anything – after all, Cross didn’t exactly look injured on the outside, even if he was in a hospital… and besides, Dream knew Nightmare hadn’t meant it. Not this time. He had seen it. His brother wouldn’t have run off like that if he did.

All Dream could do was sit and hope that Nightmare would calm down, and perhaps they could try again… he had some anger problems, but it was always something that could be helped, and Dream knew… Dream knew Cross could help. He had spoken to him, after all, and he was sure that wouldn’t repeat again… he hoped.

Gulping, Dream made his way into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He reached for the mug in the top cupboard, only to hear a sharp knock at the door. He went to head to it, only to hear the beep of the microwave going off. “Just a second!” he called out, and went to grab the plate of heated up leftovers.

* * *

 

The jacket had barely managed to stay firm around his arms as he walked, and Nightmare didn’t even have the strength to tie it back up – though he didn’t even think about it as he kept going, eyes squinting occasionally to see his destination in front of him. At this point, he didn’t even care about the person behind the door.

Looking up, although every movement was shaky, weak, he managed to snake one arm out of his jacket, which was loosely hanging off the other, and reach it up to knock as hard as he could manage. Nightmare stared ahead, desperately trying to hang on. It would be fine. He let out a few breaths, but at this point, he was getting weaker by the second.

It had been ages since Nightmare had felt relieved for any door to open – the last thing he would’ve expected was for it to end up being his brothers. He stepped forward, not even knowing how weak he really was until he spoke up, doing so as quick as he could, seeing as Dream had already seen his soaking red arm, jacket, shoes.

“D-Dream, it’s fine…! T-think I need a l-little help, but… s-should b-be… all…” Nightmare hadn’t even managed to finish his sentence before his legs could no longer hold him up. All was a blur – the voices, the sights, and all he could feel was the cold feeling of the ground meeting up with him, his ears buzzing. Maybe… maybe it would be better this way, Nightmare thought, as the gold blur infront of him faded from his view into the darkness he knew.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was *dark* xD


	2. Chapter 2

Nightmare wasn’t sure at _all_ what to think when he woke up on the somewhat soft bed, squinting immediately in reaction to the bright light he was greeted with as he looked up. No, not just that, but the walls were all white as well, along with the sheets and the floor… completely opposite to his dark clothing and the dried up blood that stained red on his jacket.

… _Oh._

Nightmare let out a frustrated growl, sinking further into the bed, wanting to divert his eyes from the room in front of him. He knew where he was; he knew what happened. Aside from his obvious stupidity… He could feel the bandages wrapped around his fists, and he didn’t like it. He knew what this meant. He was going to be stuck here, god knew how long. So what if he had lost a lot of blood? It was just his fists! He could get around just fine!

All of that was crushed when Nightmare felt dizzy just sitting up. He grasped at his head, blinking a few times to keep himself up. Dammit, this _sucked_. He hated it already, and he’d only been up in here for two minutes; at least, awake. Eyes scanning across the empty room, he spotted the glass of water on the counter next to him. Nightmare stared at it sceptically for a bit, before letting out a breathless scowl and grasping the glass, taking a slightly large gulp.

The hospital around him was mostly silent; occasionally a voice would be heard passing through the corridor, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. Nightmare wasn’t sure whether he preferred the silence right now or not. It was eerie, but at the same time, any nurses or doctors heading in was the _last_ thing he wanted, only adding to the fact that yes, he was in a god darn _hospital._

Of course, Nightmare had little choice in the matter. At least it wasn’t his brother.

Having being reminded about that just before one of the nurses made their way in, it was all that was on his mind, and Nightmare didn’t know why. He tried his best to talk without sounding annoyed; he didn’t want to be rude to some stranger that was just doing their job, but at the same time, he just wanted them to leave.

At least food was an option soon, he _was_ a little hungry…

Nightmare held his breath as they made their way, only letting it out in a deep sigh… before he looked ahead with a face of realisation; embarrassed partly, as well.

All of last night — at least, he thought it was last night; Nightmare didn’t know — _had_ occurred, and his brother… ugh. Now he was _sure_ the other was going to come around soon because he was worried, as usual. He didn’t know _why_ he cared so much, but honestly?

For once he was grateful. Because he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done without him.

Nightmare constantly shifted; moving up and down in the bed, laying against the pillows; sinking down often, lying on his side; sitting up and taking sips of his water. Most of the time, he did nothing but think, knowing very clearly that there was nothing else he could do. Not while he was stuck here.

The door creaked open, and Nightmare prepared himself for the inevitable. Folding his arms, he barely needed to look for a second before he turned his gaze away, inching himself up a little. “What is it, Dream?” he asked, his annoyance clear. He didn’t want anyone to be here; _especially_ not his brother. Even knowing what he’d done.

“…I just wanted to know if you were alright.”

Nightmare frowned deeper, gripping the sheets as he shook slightly. “Well, I’m _fine!_ So just go, p-please…” He made out, staring ahead furiously. Even as his eyes squinted and he tried his best _not_ to… no, he couldn’t.

There was silence. Shuffling. Nightmare waited desperately for the door to close, and for silence to fall so he didn’t have to hide anything. It was getting harder and harder every second.

Instead, there was a hand on his shoulder.

Nightmare tensed. He whipped around, and opened his mouth to yell at him to just _go away_ , but something else happened.

His voice cracked. For a split second, Nightmare didn’t know what was going on. What was holding him back? He hated Dream, he _loathed_ Dream. He hated where he was and what had happened; he hated what he’d done and why he’d been so stupid. And yet he was here. He’d made his way here; he’d gotten help. But now, wasn’t it that he wanted to go? Just forget it ever happened and move on?

Nightmare didn’t know. He lowered his head, silent for the moment, before his shaking got worse. Violent, almost, as his thoughts rushed ahead before he could even comprehend them, but he knew what he was feeling. Sadness. Regret. Frustration. Maybe that it was too late. Maybe that he was trying so hard just to be cruel. Or maybe it was over the fact that what he enjoyed was wrong, and yet even so, he never faced the consequences for his actions.

But did he really enjoy what he did?

Nightmare didn’t even notice the tears that had been threatening to overflow were now spilling down his cheeks, but he didn’t even bother to hide it. Not now, at least.

“P-Please, just… l-leave me alone, I’m fine…” he managed to say; quietly, regrettably, but he’d said it. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling, but he knew it was best if he was alone; it always would be. Nightmare didn’t deserve reassurance or comfort, even if he wanted it. It wasn’t right. Not after all he’d done. It _was_ too late.

The moment he felt his brother’s arms around him, he snapped. Nightmare, despite his weak state, pushed and kicked, although it did nothing to Dream’s strong bones, as the hits barely did a single damage. Despite it, he wasn’t going to give up – or at least he thought. He became weaker and weaker over time, despite hating the comfort he was receiving – the comfort he didn’t deserve.

“I-I said l-l-leave me alone…” Nightmare sobbed, his voice cracking, and it was barely audible. He shook massively, lowering his head to the ground, and no longer had the energy to move or fight back anymore. He just- hated it. He hated everything. He hated how he’d turned out, how he lived, what he did, and yet… he continued to struggle through it, because he _knew_ he didn’t deserve it. Not anymore. He’d brought this all on himself – and yet Dream was _still_ being nice to him. He deserved to be hated! He deserved to be treated cruelly!

So… so _why_ was everyone being so _nice_ to him…?

“Hey, hey, shh… it’s okay, Nightmare, it’s-“

“No!” Nightmare interrupted sharply, his eyes glowing darkly, and even with the tears crowding his eyes, he glared up at his brother.

“It’s _not_ okay,” Nightmare cried weakly, shoving him away as best as he could – though with the shocked expression on his brother, it was a lot easier than usual, as if he’d almost let him. Nightmare looked up at him, and even with his current expression, he sounded more upset and tired than angry. “None of this is okay! _I’m_ not okay, what I do is _not_ okay, and the way I’m being treated is _not okay_! You shouldn’t be doing this; I’m _not_ worth it! A-All this niceness and _love_ and… I don’t deserve any of this and you _know_ it! S-So… so _why_? _Why_ do you do it? _Why_ do you do _all_ of it?”

Nightmare breathed heavily, shakily, the tears still sliding down his cheeks. He couldn’t help but squint his eyes and just _cry_ – albeit his hand was still pressed against Dream’s chest, whom was now looking upset, worried, confused, but he didn’t _care_.

Or maybe he did. But Nightmare didn’t want to. Because he didn’t deserve any of it, and he never had! He wasn’t worth any of this! So why-

“Nightmare.”

Nightmare’s head snapped out, surprised, and he stared ahead at his brother. He tried his best to frown, but with the tears blurring his vision, it was far too weak to be any sort of threatening.

Despite the hint of worry, Dream was _frowning._ “How _dare_ you think that way of yourself?” he spoke, and Nightmare flinched. “That just because you do what you do, you think you’re any less of a monster like us? That- that you shouldn’t be treated like us or cared for like us? You _know_ what you did wasn’t right, _I_ know what you did wasn’t right, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to show you what’s right! And if I hate you for it, how could I help, knowing you’re just misguided?”

Nightmare tried to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat, as he stared ahead with sadness and regret. “I-I-“

“I know…” Dream interrupted, looking to the side. “I know what you’re going to say. But it’s _okay_. You didn’t know, you didn’t understand… you’re just a _kid_ , Nightmare, it’s _okay_ … but you just need to look past who you are and think about who you can become…”

Nightmare’s eyes widened. He lowered them slowly to the ground, hand gripping his shirt. “…but… do I really deserve this, I… was _terrible_ to _all_ of you; our entire family, for _years_ , I… I just don’t know… “

Dream let out a breath, lowering his eyes sadly. “I know… and you made it hard, but that doesn’t matter. We can put that in the past; it’s over. It happened. It’s done, and there’s nothing we can do to change it. But…” He turned back to Nightmare, looking hopeful. “If you’re willing to change, if you’re willing to be better… then it doesn’t matter. You can be better, I know you can. It’s not too late... it never has been.”

Nightmare had lost his outwards tough demeanour _long_ ago. He didn’t exactly think he was ready to say sorry, even if he was, but he felt _terrible._ And terribly _stupid_ at that. He’d been hurting them for so long, and all because he thought he didn’t deserve to be loved and cared for, he hurt them even more. And it was all he ever did. He used to think if Dream forgot him, it would be better, but he couldn’t have ever really made that happen. Because care wasn’t something you could just… well, not do. It wasn’t ever that easy. Nightmare knew.

Because _he_ still cared. He let out a breath, looking to Dream regrettably, before slowing curling into a ball and burying his head in his knees without a sound. He could still feel the tears streaming down his cheeks, and from it, he was visibly shaking. “S-Still don’t know if I deserve it, b-but… g-grateful for it, so… t-thanks…” he replied, slowly looking up towards him.

Dream smiled. Nightmare couldn’t help but look away, and he could honestly feel one inching around his cheeks, but puffed them out to keep them down. Of course, that only made Dream giggle, but Nightmare just let him for the moment. He wasn’t going to say it out loud, but… he always preferred his brother happy.

“Now…” Dream began, and Nightmare looked back towards him. “I know you’re not really going to do the whole apology thing to me yet, and I’m fine with it, but… there’s someone else you know who’s not really doing so well…”

Nightmare stared ahead, before letting out a groan. “Oh, man… I-I messed up… is he okay?” he asked, sounding almost _sincere_ … but he didn’t care. Not with Cross. He was glad his brother didn’t say anything though – it was clear he wasn’t in the mood.

Dream looked to the side, lifting a hand up to his neck. “Uh, well… he has to stay in the hospital for a bit longer than planned after what you pulled… He’s actually not mad, so don’t worry, but… well, he really isn’t happy, either.”

“No surprises there…” Nightmare mumbled, looking down. Damn, he’d _really_ messed up. “Well, he’s here, right? Can I see him?”

Dream looked thoughtful as he spoke. “Well, he’s in the ICU unit now, as he’s been for a few months, but… I think we can work something out. Might be a little bit though…” he said, reaching into his pocket.

“Yeah, I get it… honestly, I need to think, so it doesn’t matter how long… don’t want him seeing me like this anyway…” Nightmare replied, lifting up his hand and wiping the tears off his cheeks, now that they were no longer flowing.

“Alright then, I’ll see what I can do… in the meantime, here.” Nightmare watched as Dream dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and holding it out to him.

Nightmare widened his eyes. “W-Wait, why?”

“Well, you’re bored, yes? Thought it could keep you entertained… don’t tell anyone, but I sometimes play on duty… always alert, but still,” Dream whispered, before shrugging his shoulders with a smile, leaning back. “Anyways, I’ll be off then. I’m… glad to hear everything’s alright,” he said, turning around, he made his way towards the door.

Nightmare stared ahead as Dream left, before lowering his eyes down to the phone, looking it over. “…How do you even _use_ this thing?”

 

* * *

 

Hours passed. Nightmare wasn’t really sure how long it had been – not with the screen that was now shining in front of him. He’d probably spent at least twenty minutes of that time fumbling with the buttons, but in the end, he was now on the fifth game down the list. At first he’d thought it was ridiculous – what kind of a name was ‘Flappy Bird’? – but _now_ he was addicted.

The sound of tapping rang out around the room. Nightmare was looking intensely at the screen, ten away from his high score of thirty-two. At least, that was higher than his brother’s original of seven. He frowned lower, determined, as he inched closer to the score bit by bit.

The door opened. Nightmare jumped. His finger failed to press the screen in time, and his tiny bird pummelled down onto the ground, and he let out a groan of frustration. “Gahhh, I was so close!” he called out, holding back the screen and glaring at it.

“Snrk!” he heard from nearby. Nightmare whipped his head towards the door. His brother stood, covering his mouth slightly with his fist, eyes clearly showing his chuckle. He felt a purple blush crawl to his cheeks, and he glared at him, although no malicious intent behind it, for once.

“S-Shut up, Dream! It’s the stupid games fault!” he called out, and for once, wasn’t even focused on blaming his brother, the one who he was _sure_ had opened the door, but, well… it couldn’t have been avoided. Besides, Flappy Bird _was_ a frustrating game, that was for sure.

Dream shook his head with a small smile, before looking back towards him. “Alright, alright, keep it down… he’s here.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. Hahahahaha. I-  
> I'm sorry  
> Wow I haven't written in ages I'm so sorry  
> I'm super glad this is out and done because this chapter was such a pain ghhhh but it ended up being really great and funny and emotional so  
> I hope you all like it  
> Alsohahasorrynotsorry


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